Aaaah! The secret benefits of living in RV parks. We were awakened this morning by the sound of our considerate neighbors’ backup alarm as he prepared to leave. He was nice enough to leave his rig in reverse long enough for all the locals to appreciate the fine tone of his beeping alarm and diesel engine rumble before putting his noisemaker in Park and idling while he and his spouse had a committee meeting about how to attach his car to the back of his coach. After about 10 minutes of motor noise, their quorum made some motions, seconded them, took a couple of votes, and published the results and then moved their vehicle 20 feet forward without bothering to shut off their throbbing diesel motor. Then they augmented the sound of their large diesel engine idling with the sound of their car sneaking up on their coach’s rear bumper. After considerable discussion about the mysteries and confusion associated with towing a small car behind a noisy coach, they attempted to align their car with the connection points on their coach which only required two more meetings and three quorum calls. Some 20 minutes later, the clever folks were finally able to board their chariot, slam the doors a half dozen times and ultimately pull forward in their noisemaker more than 50 yards to the office where more idling took place. Not too much later, the Katzenjammer Ancients left and silence again reigned over the land.
We were wide awake by the time they finally departed so we started up the coffee pot, opened the windows on a gorgeous day and I started incinerating breakfast for the both of us. I fired off the water heater and we sat down to consume our morning repast. Showers followed and we were finally ready for our trip to Niagara Falls.
The drive to Niagara from our campsite in Hartland was an easy drive down Hwy 104 until we hit the Robert Moses Parkway which takes drivers a bit south to the town of Niagara Falls. Folks here have a little trouble pronouncing their Rs and they say the name of the road is the Wobuht Moses Pockway which is closer to reality than they might know. The Pockway is liberally pockmarked with potholes, faults and poor road maintenance highlights that make for some challenging driving for those trying to maintain their steering alignment and expensive tires. Ultimately the Pockway delivers the dumb tourists, like us, to a thoroughly confusing labyrinth of downtown streets with so many signs directing the uninitiated to locations of places with names that make you think you may be approaching Niagara Falls State Park but actually trapping you in mazes intended to take your money before getting to the Park. We asked a guy who looked official (because he was wearing an OSHA-approved personal high-visibility vest) where we should go and he sent us to a parking structure where it only cost $15 to park. All the state park lots were full, of course.
After parking and climbing down one of the filthiest staircases I have ever waded through we emerged onto the sidewalk into the tourist hell surrounding the Park. Some ten minutes later, we had oriented ourselves on a map we had cleverly remembered to bring along and set off on the three block stroll to Niagara Falls State Park. Once in the park, we found the tourist info center and ticket booth for Park attractions and purchased $38 passes that allowed us to go to all the good stuff in the Park.
First we went to the observation tower and got a spectacular view from above of both American Falls and Horseshoe Falls, the section on the Canadian side of an island splitting the river before it plunges over the edge. From the observation tower we rode down an elevator and boarded the Maid of the Mist which is a medium-sized diesel powered boat with enough room for maybe 150 people. They pushed off from the dock and drove us initially toward American Falls where half the river plunges over the edge onto a big pile of boulders. Believe me – this river is open for business and the sight is terrific. They issue plastic ponchos to all who want them and that is probably a good thing because the volume of water hitting the rocks raises quite a cloud of water which the boat passes through getting everybody wet.
The next part was even better. From American Falls the boat heads over to Horseshoe Falls which is even bigger than American. It is about a third of a mile over to Horseshoe and there is so much water coming over and plunging into the pool that the boat, despite running full throttle upstream, stalls because it can’t go any closer due to the amount of water headed downstream. They hold the boat in the stream for a while before winging over and letting the boat go downstream which it does in a hurry.
The sight of these two torrents plunging over the edge and turning the pool into a turbulent rapid is about the most awe-inspiring thing I have ever witnessed. I am hard-pressed to find adequate superlatives to describe the beauty and power of this place, particularly when seen from the bottom.
We were delivered back to the dock and headed back up the elevator to the observation deck where we found some very well-used and fragrant restrooms before continuing. We boarded a shuttle after too long waiting in line and rode over to Goat Island that splits the Niagara River right before they jump over the cliff. We then disembarked and went to something they call Cave of the Winds. After another elevator ride to the lower pool and being issued another plastic poncho we strolled towards the attraction. There are neat wood walkways that take soon-to-be-wet funseekers right up close to the rock pile the American Falls land on. Some of the walkway sections have sections where the cascading water overwhelms the walkways so they offer water sandals to all visitors that they let you keep if you want them. They even have little printed sections that say “Cave of the Winds” on the side. One weird thing about this particular attraction – there is no cave. It apparently collapsed back in the 1920s but they forgot to mention this tidbit before sending the suckers down the elevators and onto the walkways. It is still pretty neat to get right up to the Falls; it is within arm’s reach to the water zinging by at about 150 miles per hour.
We finished up here, lost our ponchos and headed back up the elevator before getting in another very slow moving line to re-board the very infrequent and partially filled shuttle back to the visitor center. If you are going to visit this place, piss on the shuttle and walk because it isn’t that far and it is much faster than riding the shuttle. The shuttle also has some of the worst suspension imaginable so it is rough on the back and knees.
At the visitor center we waltzed into a movie with a stupid name I can’t remember and watched about a 30 minute presentation about crazy people who have attempted to survive a trip over the Falls. One kid in a life jacket who was riding in a dinghy with a defective motor that capsized in the upper rapids made it although the boat driver paid the ultimate price for buying an Evinrude instead of a Mercury. An old lady made it over with her cat while crammed into a barrel with a bunch of mattresses. A few other daredevils and nincompoops have also made it but the success rate is very low claiming the lives of some 55 idiots.
We were amazed by the power and majesty of the Falls but unimpressed with New York’s operation of the State Park. We rambled back over to our parking structure and departed the area around the Falls. Within about six blocks, we drove into a horrible dungheap of a neighborhood which was populated by desperate-looking people sitting on the porches of houses that appeared to be condemnable without even bothering to go inside. The streets were heavily cratered, some houses were burned out but undemolished, flashy cars with big shiny wheels and almost invisible tires loomed at us from the oncoming lane with loud bass tones emanating from their windows that even the deaf could hear. I would not want to drive through this city after dark.
We finally made it back to the Invader after stopping to buy a portable icemaker and a trip to Trader Joe’s in Buffalo. Niagara Falls is worth all the headaches you will encounter on the way in and out of town. The Falls are truly magnificent and should be on everyone’s bucket list. If I was to make a suggestion here – go to Niagara Falls State Park, check out the Falls from the observation tower and ride the Maid of the Mist. It is an overwhelming experience that is not available anywhere else we have ever been.